I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
