I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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