Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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