i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
