I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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