I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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