lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
