$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
don't judge my taste in strippers
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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