i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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