if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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