This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
