R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
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He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
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I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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