hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
