Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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