you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
