just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
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He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
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You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize