other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
