i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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