birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize