I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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