help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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