Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
