The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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