She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
