Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
