He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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