legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
