didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
