i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
