Screwed.edu
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
