thus making me awesome and them whores
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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