it's too hot outside to masturbate.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
