What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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