Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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