So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
