Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
