on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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