I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
