dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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