Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
