So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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