I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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