No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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