Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
