Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
