You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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