You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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