i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
