it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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