As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
