Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize