Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
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Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
try to milk me bitch
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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