There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We just shotgunned beers for America
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
