I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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