you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Girls should come with a carfax report
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
