i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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