I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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