haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
