Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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