we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize