We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
