thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
